Margaret's Story
My cancer story began as many do, just living my life. I was setting up a new project but couldn’t stop thinking about why I was so tired. I did what most people do and brushed it off, after all I was almost 60, not eating the best of foods nor exercising regularly though happily enjoying a busy family and working life. I didn’t really have the time to think about how tired I felt and what might be causing it.
May 6th this year will stay with me not because of the Scottish Elections or my birthday but as the beginning of this helter skelter called “cancer”.
I decided to visit my excellent GP and he urged me to go immediately to the Western Infirmary as my haemoglobin levels were seriously low at 6.5 rather than the normal 13.5-14 and I was in fact anaemic. That explained why I was so tired! After what seemed like endless endoscopes, CT scans and bloods they discovered a large growth, the size of a tennis ball in my bowel and several smaller ones in my liver. I have worked for the NHS for many years but when it is happening to you it’s a completely different experience. I am genuinely grateful to the anaemia, as it led to finding out about my cancer.
Over the next few months I met and gained an extremely supportive team of doctors (surgeon, homeopathic and oncologist) and nurses. However one of my first ports of call was the Centre of Integrated Medicine where I actually stayed for 3 days and where I was treated, and still am, with Iscador, or mistletoe by its more common name. In Germany it is automatically used alongside all other cancer treatments.
When I first received my prognosis there was an overwhelming feeling of shock as well as a very strong feeling of fear. The exact words my surgeon used were ““poor without treatment”; all I heard was the word “poor”. I wanted to be open with my family and friends but I was concerned I would not have the energy to do this and how I would handle their emotions along with my own.
Every day I would repeat to myself “I am NOT a statistic”. I have amazing support from my family, friends and neighbours yet I have found myself frozen with fear and spaced out for days on end absorbing new information.
This is where Cancer Support Scotland has been so vital, the support and information given to me has really helped me gain control of my life again. The services they offer have really enabled me to cope with all the treatments, uncertainties and adjustments. The various therapies and treatments help me to calm down and regain my energy to deal with the present which is all I can focus on. The Talking Therapies (counselling) sessions allow me to face my fears and have given me the strength to talk with professional staff more openly about my concerns. I know I have a tendency to keep my feelings quiet and protect others but my visits to Cancer Support Scotland help me understand my fear and how best to deal with it. Being able to talk to Yet, one of Cancer Support Scotland’s emotional therapists, on the same day as an appointment with my wonderful oncologist, Dawn, meant I was not frozen in fear and unable to communicate my concerns to her.
I also think it is hugely important to provide therapy and support for family and friends, not only because there are hugely negative connotations with the words cancer and chemotherapy but in talking openly about these concerns is massively beneficial and often forgotten about. Cancer still carries a major warning label, people don’t know what to say, they are quick to offer help and apologies but not as confident to openly talk about how it affects them and their fears and stresses.
The message I want to get across is that had my treatments been confined to surgery and oncology alone I doubt I would currently be in as positive a state as I am now. Each treatment certainly deserves individual merit; however it is their integration that has allowed me to be the best I can be in these circumstances.
In the past I understood holistic healing as a means of soothing and energizing. I now deeply understand the vital nature of these treatments for people like me affected by cancer and all those around us. I firmly believe in the healing energy treatments like Reiki, Massage and Reflexology can have on the body. The nurturing energy I receive from each visit to Cancer Support Scotland allows my body to recover from the surgery and helps me to face the rest of my day. We are so lucky to have this facility at Gartnavel along with the new Maggie Centre Opening and the Beatson, building up a whole host of healthy resources for those of us with cancer. I have been very lucky to know the importance of an integrated system.
